So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
