The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
