Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize