There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
