I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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