um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
