What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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