I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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