Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
