Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
false alarm, still single
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