don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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