**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
