Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize