Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
