If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
