He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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