He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
