ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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