love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
