i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
