so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
