Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
