if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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