Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
