no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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