I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
