My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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