This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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