Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
