I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
