he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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