The maid of honor just puked.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
