if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
sarcasm needs its own font
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
