My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
