Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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