This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
