and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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