A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
