I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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