And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
