Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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