just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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