Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
