the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
