K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
