ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
