My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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