I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
