He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
