i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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