the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
