Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
