Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
