I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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