Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
