Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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