I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize