I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
