I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
