i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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