Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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