I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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